I haven’t posted in a bit. Things are hectic as usual. The last week or so has been extremely stressful for me. I either want to scream my head off at someone or something, or want to burst into tears at any moment.

Work seems to be getting better and I am doing my best to keep ahead of my paperwork. Certain parts of work get me sad, but I deal with it. I just sometimes think that life can be so unfair to people. Anyway, we do not need to go into that in detail.

The kids have been making me want to scream lately. Between not wanting to do homework, getting into fights, and just general bickering, sometimes I just want to run up to my room and be by myself, but then I get through it with them¬†and all is well. I just don’t like getting to that breaking point.¬†

I have been thinking about life in general lately, and sometimes I wish I could be at a different point in life. I just would love to have a baby in my life, but as of this time, there is no baby yet. I look at my neice and just love how she is learning and growing. The things she comes off with are sweet. I just long for that, but as everyone tells me…”It will happen when the time is right.” I hope they are right because I am not getting any younger.

I have been reading old things and looking back at life. I just thought at the age I am now, I would have accomplished different things. Don’t get me wrong, I love the life I have now with Jason, Jr, & Janeen…..but sometimes I just get sad thinking that I don’t have my dream job yet, there is no baby¬†to hold.

I just get angry and envious of people who don’t live their lives well and get handed everything their hearts desire. I try to live a good life, and I just wish good things would start happening to me and my family.

Well, I will go for now….I just needed to write down some thoughts and get things off my chest so I don’t get to my breaking point. It is good to just let things out sometimes, other than holding things in and letting it eat away at you. I try to put up a brave front and not let anyone see my pain, but sometimes it is good to let others know how I am feeling. That way they can know why I may be upset or anxious. I know I need to get better with my communication skills, but so do alot of other people. That is what I strive to do….be able to talk openly and honestly with others and let them see my point of view and I will respect their point of view as well.

Anyway, I am off for now. Hope to write again soon and with happier thoughts. I just felt the need to write things down to get it out of my system. Until then…happy reading and comment away if you wish.